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Masculinity and pacifism
Amy Welborn posted about her little boy's desire, despite not having violent toys or watching violence on TV, to play at swordfighting. And most of the commentators have talked about how natural it is for boys to play at war and how we shouldn't stifle that and how there's so much emasculating of males lately. I'm not naive; I know that even if I forbid toy guns my boy (if I have one) will make one of out of his finger or play with a friend's one at his house. And I love Star Wars and Star Trek, and when I was younger I loved fantasy adventure books, which often have fighting and killing. But I don't think it's emasculating to forbid toy guns, or violent video games in our home, or to bring my son up believing that Christians do not kill other people. One commentator at Amy's said, regarding Catholicism, "ours is a fighting faith; we do not glorify pacifism."
I found that comment very insulting to Mennonites, Quakers, and other pacifists. Being a real man has nothing to do with the willingness to inflict violence on someone else. I'm picking up in Amy's thread the same thing I did last year:
"There is no notion that these manly virtues or ideals might need to be transformed in the light of the gospel. St. Paul calls us to battle against the cosmic powers of this present darkness and proclaim the gospel of peace. Even this pacifist thinks that's good stuff. Paul is not instructing men only, but he uses militaristic imagery, which generally might appeal especially to men, and turns it on its head. Likewise, Paul tells us the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Are only women to be gentle? No. Jesus blesses the meek. Are only women to be meek? No. Speaking of Jesus...any notion of femininity or masculinity must be transformed in the light of the cross. He emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death - even death on a cross. What should glory, honor, nobility and strength look like to men who follow a crucified Messiah?"
I understand that boys are wired differently than girls and that playing war or whatever is just "make believe." If males have an innate desire to do battle, then, as other commentators said, channel it into something positive. But I'm going to teach my boy that inflicting violence on another person is sinful. (I know plenty of fine men who are pacifists, and who have sons, and I plan on talking to them about their parenting experiences.) Now, just watch, my son will grow up and join the military - and the "fighting faith" commentator's son or grandson or whoever will grow up and join the Christian Peacemakers Team. You can't control your children! However, I'm not going to teach him about some notion of masculinity that I don't believe has any connection to Christ.
Hmmm...one of the commenters says: "Little Winston Churchill had a toy
soldier set of over 5,000 strong. Complete with cannon, lancers, dragoons,
hussars, infantry. This antagonism towards all things military, is ENTIRELY
a modern fad. And like most modern fads, it ought to be jettisoned."
And big Winston Churchill, IIRC, ordered the terror bombing of German cities in contravention of every just war (not to mention pacifist!) principle on the books.
Coincidence...?
One of the commenters also mentioned John Eldredge and Wild at Heart. I
wonder if you have read Mark Mulder and James K.A. Smith's critical review
article, "Are Men Really Wild at Heart?" They make some rather similar
points that you do:
http://www.perspectivesjournal.org/2004/10/review.php
Neil [dhingra.2@nd.edu]
Have you read any Walter Wink? His discussion of the myth of redemptive
violence makes a lot of sense of those things. He claims that there is a
pervasive myth about the “good” that comes from violence. For evidence, he
cites everything from the Babylonian creation story (Marduk and Tiamat) to
modern superheroes.
In contrast, Christianity has a God that creates out of nothing and rather than the Father opposing the Son opposing the Holy Spirit, the three are one. In other words, the Trinity is the grounding for peacefulness rather than having creation as a reiteration of human violence.
Thunder Jones [thunderjones@mac.com]
Thank you for this post and raising these issues.
I'm an odd duck in that most of my stances would be labled as "conservative" by any stretch (abortion, sexuality, Scriptural authority, etc...)and yet I am also a pacifist.
To be specific, I am an "Ecclesial Pacifist." I recognize that until Christ returns, nations will fight wars and that sometimes a war is justifiable in human terms. But at the same time, I think that Christians, as ones called to love both our nieghbor and our enemy, have no business participating in war and should be advocates of peace and agents of mercy at all times to all people, no matter who has our sympathies politically.
I now struggle as the father of a sixteen month old with these very issues. I grew up on GI Joe, He-Man, Star Wars, and little green army men. I grew up with spankings from Mom and Dad and having my uncles teach me how to fight. I grew up in a John Wayne atmosphere which still holds true in my native Texas, where I'm now rasing my son.
I want him to be masculine and confident, but I want him to shun violence. I want him to find his manhood in the example of Jesus and the early saints who followed like James and Paul and Peter and Polycarp.
I don't know how to do this, but with God's help, I'll make every effort. I have no advice to give and I'm open to any others might have. But one thing I do know is that the pacifist American male swims upstream. And the pacifist Evangelical male swims almost entirly alone. I'm just glad to know others share the struggle.